Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

England is launching a gonorrhea vaccine. Is Canada next? - Yahoo

I actually pay taxes

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

What does it mean when someone is pretending to be me?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

Supplement created that contains more crucial B12 vitamins than milk or meat products - Earth.com

I can count

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

Why do our deceased do not protect us from other bad spirits?

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t cotton to rapists

Why do SpaceX rockets keep exploding? - The Verge

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I have complete contempt for fakery

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

Wander Franco’s conviction likely bars return to U.S., attorneys say - Tampa Bay Times

I don’t buy bullshit

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

Fed Chair hit with savage message on interest rates - TheStreet

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

Is the Las Vegas Grand Prix considered one of the "premier events on the Formula 1 calendar?"

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

Est sit omnis doloribus placeat rem necessitatibus.

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

The one-man-army behind a ferocious new Raid-inspired beat-’em-up answers all of our questions - Polygon

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

Free agent CB Rasul Douglas doesn’t think he’ll return to Green Bay - NBC Sports

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I have a reading level above third grade

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I understand how hurricane paths work

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I see through liars

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I can read

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”